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Old 02-11-2016, 09:55 AM
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Please comment with your experiences on this subject matter. I have been affected by this, though have a thicker skin than most.
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Old 02-11-2016, 12:08 PM
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Ruby should be along shortly, if she's somewhere she can get online.

If you are from TOL, you can search both Ruby and me on multiple threads on this topic, though I have been anonymized and mostly blanked. You can sometimes find me under nurseprnRN, which is what they renamed me after I got banned.

This is one, from 2 years ago:
It's just that, taking a totally unscientific convenience sample here in AN, the younger ones seem to get so much more upset about it, and in such overwhelmingly greater numbers. Perhaps the older ones don't care so much what other people think about them, so the eyerolls and the whispers and the imagined slights don't ... hurt. I don't see that as passive resignation to the meanness all around us, I see that as a more mature perspective as to what's important here.

Perhaps when you become crusty you become less tasty. And I've always said that regardless of your age and stage, no one will chew on you if you're tough.

When you are new at hiking, your boots will give you hotspots that will turn into blisters unless you prepare for that, and if you get them, you should have proper first aid supplies to protect you as you go along, or you will have a really miserable day. But over time, your skin toughens, and your boots no longer hurt your feet no matter how difficult the terrain or how far the trek. Try thinking of it that way; then you can look up at the sky and the trees, breathe deeply, and stop worrying about your feet.

Then I got the following:
I think the main difference between my generation and yours is that I don't think it's acceptable to have to develop calluses to cover the blisters. I shouldn't be in an environment that blisters in the first place.

And I replied:
Oh, heck, where is it written that into life a little callusing shall never fall? Look at the bottoms of your feet. You still walk, though, right? That's nothing to be sad about. Callus is a normal protection against friction and pressure. Your body is able to make it for a perfectly good reason, and good thing, too. All I'm suggesting is that people make a more conscious decision to prepare for friction and know they can grow a bit of callus for the rough spots in life, because everybody walks through a rough spot now and then. Making a conscious decision not to have callus is to invite a lifetime of foot pain. Your feet, though, so your call.

A further comment on the above "shouldn't have to get blisters in the first place":


Possibly true, but to continue the hiking/footwear analogy, your very best, finest-fitting hiking boots in the world will still need to be broken in, and that means that your feet are the ones to do it. There is literally no way to learn to walk a mile -- or more -- in your new boots without expecting some hotspots. You must develop thicker skin, yourself, to make it possible to hike, regardless of terrain or shoes, because hiking makes for rubbing. Physics doesn't necessarily see a differentiation between our generations.

Anyone who is old enough to join the world of work puts aside childish things and no longer should speak as a child or think as one. Growing up requires tougher skin, and you are well-engineered to develop it. Railing that you don't think it's fair or necessary doesn't change a thing. Get on with it. It was absolutely no different for your parents, your grandparents, and your great-great-great-great-grandparents. Yes, it was just the same, and you are no more special than they in this regard.
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Old 02-11-2016, 12:23 PM
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I get it from the night nurse all of the time.. she's a miserable bitch and mean as a snake. Hates her job, but won't look for another one because the benefits are something that she won't get elsewhere. I have to admit, she's a bully to everyone from the nursing assistants right up to the other RNs. She told me once I was incompetent as Charge, and I really needed to go look for another position. Told her no one got hurt on my shift, I didn't have to send anyone over to medical, and nobody died. I consider that a good shift.

Two days later, she walks in with candy bars for her kid's fundraising project. Looked at me and said "They're $2." I didn't say anything. Then she said "Come on, you know you want some." I gave her the dumb look again. I didn't buy any. The next week, she comes in with more candy bars, and an order form for pierogies. She hands me the pierogies sheet. I hand it back. She made a comment about I thought you'd want to order of something like that. I said no, not interested. Then she asked the big question.... WHY.... I looked her straight in the eye and said "I'm not supporting your kid's fundraising efforts when her mother doesn't know how to talk to people like they are intelligent human beings." And I picked up my bag, handed her the narc drawer keys, and left the unit for the night. She hasn't approached me with any fundraising things since... and... she's changed her tune. Rumor has it she got talked to, but I'm not believing that.
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Old 02-11-2016, 04:37 PM
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A similar incident happened to me with a charge nurse screaming at me. Totally unprofessional. So I looked up the New Mexico statue for assault and in the statue, screaming at someone is considered assault. An email was sent to HR with the incident and statue. It never happened again.
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Old 02-11-2016, 11:39 PM
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I've had people try to bully me but they usually can just my . However, it is rare that I get upset or mad though.

My first year as a RN was rough though. I was bullied by the old " nurses eat their young " thing. But each year since has gotten better.
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Old 02-11-2016, 11:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Melinurse View Post
I've had people try to bully me but they usually can just my . However, it is rare that I get upset or mad though.

My first year as a RN was rough though. I was bullied by the old " nurses eat their young " thing. But each year since has gotten better.
Year #2 isn't going much better... Although I am getting better at speaking my mind and telling them to shut up...
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Old 02-12-2016, 06:36 AM
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You're 12 years as an RN....is this a new situation, or an ongoing thing? Is this the first time you've experienced this....recently?
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Old 02-12-2016, 07:09 AM
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Year #2 isn't going much better... Although I am getting better at speaking my mind and telling them to shut up...

It gets better because we start speaking our mind. I think I really started enojying working with other nurses while riding along with a crazy Aussie nurse through some winding roads. She had some good advise about just keeping my focus on the patient. She phrased it really well but I can't recall her exact words.
Sounded simple but after a while, no matter how sucky my day is with co-workers, I start thinking about what went on with my pts. I really thought that was what I was doing already. Somehow that started slowly ( very slowly ) reframing my thoughts. I dunno, it worked for me.
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Old 02-12-2016, 09:44 AM
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I have been bullied (by nurses) by long distance. It was during a hard time in my life when both myself and my husband lost our jobs. Years later I can see it much more clearly. These people had low self-esteem and needed to build themselves up by knocking someone else down.

I learned to not ever respond to a bully and if necessary report it to the authorities. It is now against the law to bully someone via the internet and can lead to jail time. My neighbor of the past 2 years is an internet lawyer. I'm set
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Old 02-12-2016, 05:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DutchgirlRN View Post
I have been bullied (by nurses) by long distance. It was during a hard time in my life when both myself and my husband lost our jobs. Years later I can see it much more clearly. These people had low self-esteem and needed to build themselves up by knocking someone else down.

I used to tell my kids that it's stupid to spend time around somebody who makes you feel bad, and that it's bad to try to make yourself feel big by making someone else feel small.

That last part is a good rejoinder to someone who's trying to belittle you.

Note, though, this doesn't apply when they don't greet you in the morning or invite you out with the gang after work. Find your own friends to go out with; don't look for self-validation from others so much.

And so, wmgodspeed.... have we been duped into doing your homework for you? Gawd, I hate that. So what do you think about bullying, and what was your experience?
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